New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize