So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
