He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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