who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
