If i come over, it means nothing
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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