And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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