new low.... made out with someone while peeing
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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