i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize