my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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