Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
BRING THE BAGELS
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
