What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
