You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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