He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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