it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
