hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
