elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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