I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
