i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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