Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
