chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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