my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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