so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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