Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
PANTIES FOUND
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