Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize