she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
