I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
