another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
