Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
