So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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