You really coming over, don't trick.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
