She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
