then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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