Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize