TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
