He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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