i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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