I think I died a long time ago.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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