i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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