My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
