I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
