Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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