u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
