i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
