Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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