They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
