the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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