like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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