they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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