I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Randomize
