what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
