Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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