I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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