It's Friday. Sex?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize