real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
