I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
