Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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