i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
